ZeroHedge Comments on How to be Jobless

We read ZeroHedge so you don’t have to!

Now and then, you get some funny exchanges, albeit ever so rarely.

Profanity alert.


Rule #11: Kill yourself!
World will be so much better without another neurotic, super-ambitious, job-obsessed careerist.

Kaiser Sousa
i cant stand that bitch made mother fucking banker/wall st. presstitute…
Hey Dennis, ever heard of the Lame Stream Media Knock out Game you fucker??
watch your back……

Dennis, Fight Club, motherfucker.
There’s a recovery blossoming, Dennis, so your unemployment Must Be A Function of Your Personal Inabiltieies and Character Defects.

Dekneale? Face it, the reason he keeps getting fired is because he is a total asshole. There, fixed it for him.

His “Top Tips on How Not to be Homeless” should be a better read…..

I’m very glad for this article and the fact that ZH posted Dennis’s blog address, because there’s no way in a million years I’d have otherwise known where to go to berate & troll this 1st class jackwad when I have time to kill.


Pure Evil
Yeah, I think we should start a pool to see how long before he goes wacko and finds out all his supposed friends are avoiding him like the plague.

Then we’ll get to see a new Top Ten List when the anger and bitterness set in.

Rule #2: No jammy pants. It invites laziness and procrastination. Put on a pair of pants, dude.
Hear that fonestar?

What’s wrong with jammy pants? Jammy pants, Red Bull and pushin’ bits is where it’s at….

Uber Vandal
The scary thing is that “jammy pants” appear to be everyday wear for too many people when I go out and about, regardless of the time of day.

Hell, 40% of my income is generated while wearing my jammy pants. This cat needs to learn to think outside the box.

Rule #11: Make up an awesome story about why you got fired. I tell people I was fired because I plowed my boss’s daughter.

Ban KKiller
IN the boss’s bed is what I heard.

and the silly bitch told me she was on the pill!

You guys are doing it wrong; that’s how I got hired! It’s taken 10 years and a couple more grand kids, but I think he might like like me; hasn’t called dickhead in a few weeks.

(A note from Dennis: And yet, for all that invective, rare moments of something else emerge, a helpful, not-meanness, which isn’t exactly kindness but it’ll do.)

“I’ve always been a fan of the f-word, and of the truth.”

Then how have you been able to shave all these years? And that’s as hard as I’m willing to hammer any 56 year old out of work in 2014. No one deserves more than that smack.

i never cared for dennis kneale. not one bit. but i am willing to overlook that and sincerely wish him good luck in landing a job. wishing you well, dennis, and also to your family.

OK, OK, we all want to punch poor Dennis in the nose, but I happen to like this post as it may be the best advice Kneale has ever given. Ever. The dude knows how to be unemployed. I’m kind of hoping for more great unemployment advice from the Beaker, like “How to make gourmet Ramen noodles,” and (in my dreams), “How to decorate your refrigerator box to remind you of your home/office.”

Y’all are just being way too harsh.

I Write Code
Shallow, very shallow.

Book yourself some self-improvement, some new buzzwords for your resume if nothing else, you can expand it into a “project” if your real unemployment stretches.

Arrange yourself some social schedule during the week, whatever it is.

Catch up on any reading, hobbies, etc you like anyway, MAKE it an extended vacation to some extent, but not to the extent of getting wasted every night.

Break that identity between yourself and your job, it was always bogus anyway.

Log into sites like ZH and help run the universe.


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